Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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