My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
