I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
