i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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