I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
