i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
