i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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