did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
this will be a night to untag.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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