Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
