So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
