I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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