omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
