I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
