Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
