the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
