I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
