When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize