Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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