I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
