her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
