Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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