Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
