i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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