i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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