is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
