Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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