end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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