she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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