You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
