She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize