Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
