**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
