don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
