I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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