once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
