dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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