I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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