i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize