Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize