I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
