So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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