So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize