Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
