actually, I'm a sock model
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
