Where is the hickey?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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