i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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