Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
one might say we're banned from that church
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
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I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My feet surprised me
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