He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
