Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
did you get engaged???
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
