im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
