Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
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She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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