I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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