u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
