I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
